unbreakable family rules / ;essons

[wanderer-rrorc]

the other thread got me on a rant...

we have several "unbreakable rules" at our house...some are instant action stuff..(not punishment but the kiddo's are to understand WHY they are important and must always be followed!!)

who else has similar types of rules/lessons? please share them incase others want to adopt them!!

ours...

from another thread..

and we have a few "unbreakable" rules...and I've already seen the neighbor fail at these (and she watches her granddaughter 24/7..so you would think she would have experiance with her own kids!)

RULES!

RULE 1. NEVER get into or under a vehicle if a grownup is not with you..matter of fact NEVER get under a vehicle EVER...if you cant reach your ball/toy...get a broom/stick/grownup to get it for you..(we have large 4x4's and Im always afraid of running her over...which leads to rule 2...)

RULE 2. IF someone is moving a vehicle...you will be asked if you want to ride..if you dont..you MUST BE where you can see the driver and the driver can see you AND WAVE TO YOU THAT YOU ARE IN A SAFE PLACE...just because she can see me/mom/driver doesnt mean we can see where she is at..we communicate where we are going to move the vehicle and how..and that she must be either in a "safe" place or a specific spot...

RULE 3. IF a vehicle is moving...DO NOT EVER approach it..this goes for anyone arriving or leaving..any vehicle that is approaching you..car/truck/mailman/delivery/quad/bike/tractor/lawnmower...you dont ever go towards it till it has STOPPED moving...and you must see that the driver sees you and lets you KNOW they see you!!

RULE 4...if Im welding...get your welding helmet and you can watch...but dont let the dogs in the garage..they arnt smart enough to not look at the light and they will go blind..

Rule 5...dont pet dogs till you get approval of the person thats with them..NEVER stick your hand thru a fence to pet a dog..if your wrestling with OUR dogs..and they yelp...let them up..your being too rough..

rule 6...you can have some pop if you ask..but dont drink it all..and announce if its the last of it and ask if you can have it (someone drank all of my soda one day while we were out in the field workin and when I was thirsty there wasnt any left...papa-NOT HAPPY...then missy had to go potty...)

rule 7. if dad says no..dont go ask mom...cus dad will find out and you wont get to do it anyway..

and then theres some things she's learned...

if your asked to do something and you do it...when YOU ask someone else to do something you'll probably get it (shes asked to feed the dogs..your asked to goto the playground...everybody says yes!)

dads diet pepsi can make all injurys miraculously better..

if your mad..and you slam your bedroom door...expect dad to be in your room on .0002 seconds after the door was slammed...you might not get a whoopin...but you will be reminded that we "dont slam doors"...

if your mad about something...dont hold it in...tell someone..we will listen even when we're mad...your opinion counts..but sometimes we overrule..

dont lie..we know better...or you will tell on yourself anyway..the truth is easier to remember..

bringing dad a cookie...(that you secretly want for yourself .."I brought this for you!...you dont want it? can I have it?)...will get dad fed and you will have no cookie..

no ammount of begging will get you something..but being good will get you just about anything reasonable..

you always have 2 options with any given task...you can do it...or you can do it crying..

and the last one I can think of...

YOUR MOM IS MEANER than dad..just because she doesnt raise her voice doesnt mean you wont be cryin in a few seconds...(this goes for dad too!!)...when in trouble and someone says "im gonna call your dad"...she always starts to behave or says "call my mom instead" and then behaves...when she's hurtin or sick..she wants dad...


my wife sometimes laughs at the 2 of us...and sometime wants to strangle the 2 of us...but we're 2 best buddies...so its ok..we're either bein good or in trouble TOGETHER....


the reason for some of these are fairly evident...the one that really sticks with me is after a 6 hour search..2 of them in the dark for a neighbors kid when we lived in the country...he was missing...we were all out with dogs and atv/trucks due to the nature of the woods and ponds in the area...we figured the dogs would find him if he was holed up scared...we were all afraid he was hurt or fell into a pond and something terrible happend...

turned out that he had gotten into his dads old car in the yard and pulled a blanket over himself and fell asleep....we were all emotional after hours of franticaly searching and he was safe in the end..

we always try to keep undriven vehicles locked just because of this..and never leave a manual transmission ingear to hold it (my brother once sent moms AMC gremlin over a flowerbed when she left it running in-gear with us all piled in...she ran back inside to get her purse..to get outside in time to see the car roll down the driveway and across the quiet residential street into the neighbors garden)

I pull the parking brake in the jeep so hard that my wife will have me release it if she's movin the jeep...kinda annoying on sat mornin when your asleep!

 

[6Pins]

nice set of rules. Some of our rules are:

-you may have long hair, you may have short hair. You may not have stupid hair. Dad determines what stupid hair is.

-until you are no longer responsible upon me for financial support, you may not add any additional holes to your body.

-When I meet with your teachers, it's best to confess to anything now before the the teacher tells me about it.

-Do. Not. Touch. Dad's. Tools. Without. Permission. Ever.

 

[john101477]

Nice set of rules.
Most of the rules I was brought up with will be what I pass along to my daughter. As she is 16 months we are in the do not touch that, if your jumping on the couch your gonna get hurt - see i told ya, faze.

love the rule on hair by 6Pins. that same rule applies to clothes, makeup, boyfriends.

I got the same lesson of dad said no so i asked mom when i was younger - Bad stuff
I am a big fan of your actions will have consequences and just because your in trouble does not mean I am. I have no problem going to disneyland with out you. I worked at a group home for troubled teens and had to watch some videos on "parenting" for some reason, but the videos were a great learning experience and having worked at the home I was able to put the lessons to use to see what worked and what didn't.

 

[datrupr]

bringing dad a cookie...(that you secretly want for yourself .."I brought this for you!...you dont want it? can I have it?)...will get dad fed and you will have no cookie.

It took my daughter a few attempts at this before she learned. Now she askes if she can have a cookie (snack, candy, treat, etc.) and then asks if I would like one.

All of the other rules except the welding one (I don't weld but would love to learn) apply in my house too. Also, some in my house that will recieve immediate attention:

Never argue with an adult. Even if they are wrong, you will come out crying.

Always sit like a lady, no matter what you are wearing (she is 6 now and getting much better)

Always use your table manners. I grew up in a German household, and if we didn't use table manners we would get hit with a wooden spoon. I don't go to that extreme, but she gets reprimanded when not used.

And, never talk back to an adult. This will trigger an immediate negative reaction from dad. Just as bad as arguing with dad (talking back and arguing are different with my daughter. she argues with me a lot. She doesn't talk back too much.) Also, always treat adults with respect.

 

[kjp1969]

Here's a repost of my list from the other thread

You slam your door, you lose your door: Out come the hinge pins, the door goes in the garage, and you have no privacy until further notice. And your sisters will make fun of you for losing your door. (we have daughters)

You will get in more trouble for lying about brushing your teeth than for not brushing your teeth.

If you do not eat your dinner, you will go to bed hungry. We do not run a restaurant, you do not get to place an order. Missing a meal has yet to kill anyone.

If you are excused from the table for bad manners or any other reason, dinner is over for you. Don't worry, you won't be bored. You can immediately start cleaning the kitchen, loading the dishwasher, etc.

You get an allowance, you have to do chores. You cannot trade the two.

If your attitude needs adjustment, that's okay, we have plenty of extra chores to remind you that you should contribute to the household. (Folding laundry is a favorite here.)

We have a chore chart that rotates 9 chores between the three of them each week. One of my daughters thought it would be cute to rearrange the chores so that she could perpetually avoid cleaning up after the dog, so she got to do all 9 chores for the next week. The rule that grew out of it was: mess with your sisters and you get to do their chores.

Do good and ye shall be rewarded with extra responsibilities and privileges, like going to work with Dad, earning extra money washing cars, etc.

Its amazing how seldom we actually have to follow through on consequences. Usually it happens once or twice, then they know that "we mean it" and it doesn't happen again.

 

[Mr. Leary]

Crying or begging will only land you time in the corner, while sitting down and explaining why you want something will ensure due consideration.

Being angry or upset is acceptible. Tantrums are not acceptible.

While she is welcome to hang out with me in the garage and help in some cases, she uses her tools and I use mine (got her some screw drivers, a play drill, small hammer, flashlight, and a small socket set).

When I have the shooting equipment out for cleaning or prep work for an upcoming event, she is not to be in the room without adult supervision (and she knows it is her responsability too).

When walking across parking lots, she will hold my hand (We learned why this is a rule the hard way when she was 2... I wrapped her up just in time to take out somebody's front bumper, hood, and windsheild. She was spooked, I was bruised, we agreed to never do that again)

Never write on the walls.

Always put bubble gum in the trash.

"If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" (she likes it when I attempt a British accent). She know's I don't like candy, and will not buy her candy under any circumstances.

 

[James86004]

Our number one rule: No whining, no fake crying!

Our kid has figured out it doesn't work on us, but when our nieces and nephews come to stay with us for a day or two, they always try to pull it.

Last month, we watched our two nephews, one aged 4 and the other just turned 1. They both figured out pretty quickly that if they wanted something and didn't get it, crying didn't help. After that, they were little angels. Two days later, the parents came back to pick them up and stay for dinner. Within a half hour of their arrival, those two were whiny, crabby kids and the parents were saying things like, "Oh, you poor dear, what is the matter?", while at the same time apologizing to us about what a rough time we must have had. Eh, not really, they were easy to watch, you just need to let them know who is in charge. Actually, it was fascinating how the 1 year old had already figured out what buttons to press to get what he wanted from his parents.

Come to think of it, our kid has figured out what buttons to press on us, too, but in her case those buttons are being polite & respectful, and doing her chores, along with hugs.

 

[john101477]

I suppose i am a little lack on my rules on tools. I was taught at a very early age about leaving tools out or loosing them. this always met with a very immediate reaction from dad. It is kind of funny now that i am grown and walk into his shop I get to rib him every once in a while about leaving a tool out of the proper spot. Funny part is he uses the same excuses I did a kid, I was not done with it, I am gonna use it tomorrow, etc. We both laugh about it over a beer, after all it is his shop and his tools. He is getting ready to start a new project dune buggy and now that he lives a mile down the road it should be a good time for us both to work on it.

 

[stevenmd]

Dad gets passwords to all social media accounts, including the right to review any and all text messages, pictures, etc.

Dad has dead nerve endings in his shins from years of futbol (soccer) and in his fists (never mind you the reason). So if you really want to try kickboxing with dad... don't go crying to momma afterward.

The snitch gets the same punishment as the offender.

If you can't quit fighting over a toy I will throw it away.

Your brother gets to do unto you what you did unto your brother.

Don't jump out and scare dad. Ever. Child protective services might not understand this thing called "reflexes".

The best rule of all... "No blood, no tears" if you want to roughhouse with each other. Works wonders.

 

[Mr. Leary]

Dad gets passwords to all social media accounts, including the right to review any and all text messages, pictures, etc.

Dad has dead nerve endings in his shins from years of futbol (soccer) and in his fists (never mind you the reason). So if you really want to try kickboxing with dad... don't go crying to momma afterward.

The snitch gets the same punishment as the offender.

If you can't quit fighting over a toy I will throw it away.

Your brother gets to do unto you what you did unto your brother.

Don't jump out and scare dad. Ever. Child protective services might not understand this thing called "reflexes".

The best rule of all... "No blood, no tears" if you want to roughhouse with each other. Works wonders.

One word. Awesome.

... The_Mrs. worries about what it would be like with boys... I said don't worry, they can't possibly break more bones than I have... ... I was the youngest... and the guinea pig.

 

[Rexsname]

When you come to Grandpa's house (my house) the rules are simple.......If it is not yours, DONT touch it.


REX

 

[matt s]

Number 1 and above all things, you will treat your parents with respect. Rudeness, backtalk etc. are dealt with immediately.

Number 2 : Safety stuff. You all covered it pretty well. Tools, hands in parking lots, don't touch, etc.

Number 3 : Already mentioned, but I use it too. If you refuse to put it away or fight over it Dad will throw it away.

Number 4 : Mom and Dad say things one time. Don't question, don't dally, just do it. You can ask why later.

 

[southpier]

not all offspring are destined for maturity; some will invariably drop off along the way. the next generation of psycho-analysts will thank you

 

[wanderer-rrorc]

not all offspring are destined for maturity; some will invariably drop off along the way. the next generation of psycho-analysts will thank you

:coffeedrink:

my daughter has a friend in kindergarden that we ALREADY see as heading towards a bad road..the parents are crap...and she's a mouthy little troublemaker..her dad thinks its funny that she talks back and hits adults...

she didnt care to be at our house...she wanted to stay with the newborns and I wanted her to come outside and play with our daughter...eventually I had to tell her that she needed to go outside and not go back inside except to use the bathroom and then needed to be right back outside again...and she learned that I wont put up with her attitude and I dont think its "cute"..:victory:

she's left handed and the teacher told the parents shes trying to learn to teach her how to do handwriting..the parents have ALREADY blamed the teacher for not trying...but doesnt appear they have taken on responsabilty for their own kid...:Wow1:

ya gotta take a test to drive a car....wheres the one to be a parent??:drool: