grizzlyblake
Member
This is much more of a life advice thread than a vehicle thread! Warning, long reply below.
I hope this isn't taken as getting into your business, but what exactly does that mean? Are you just going to "see what happens" and if your wife gets pregnant you will be happy about it? Will you be okay if you don't get pregnant in the first year? If not, have the two of you discussed fertility options and such?
I ask because I've been there and that gets expensive very quickly!
Now, if all goes well and things naturally fall into place, be aware that normal hospital/doctor bills for a problem free 9 months worth of OB visits and then the hospital stay for delivery are very expensive on their own. Are you prepared to write those multi-thousand dollar checks on top of your increased monthly health insurance cost?
Have you gone down the path of buying all the accessories you'll need for a baby? Stroller, car seat, carrier, furniture, etc.? You can spend plenty of time "modding" your vehicle just around the baby and spends hundreds of thousands of dollars on travel systems, seat covers, mirrors, etc.
All that aside, here's my experience - take from it what you will.
My wife and I got married ten years ago. We spent several years living it up as just a couple. We rode different motorcycles that I owned, went on vacation several times a year, etc. We went on long day trips up into the mountains in my 4Runner with our dog where we would trail ride and then hike.
Then we decided to start a family. After a year we had no luck so we started down the fertility path. Lots of money was spent, lots of emotional rollercoasters were ridden. During that time we still did our thing, especially since we needed the distraction, and had some awesome travel experiences together.
Then like a miracle we had our first baby in 2018. Then, surprise, another in 2020! Two boys.
Of course, probably like you I had visions of loading the family up in my 4Runner and doing all day trail rides, camping, exploring, etc.
What I didn't realize is that in the first 6-9 months of life with a baby you barely leave the house. Mama needs to nurse the baby every couple hours, and babies sleep every couple hours. After being up multiple times each night for a few months you kind of don't want to do anything with your down time except steal some rest when you can.
Also, it's not good for babies to be strapped into a car seat for hours at a time so even if you want to hit the road you can't go far. I would not suggest considering leaving mama and baby at home while you go out exploring either. They will need all the help you can give them.
At this point my nearly three year old son loves "daddy's truck" and his big thrill is me taking him to town on Saturday to Home Depot, riding with the windows down. He's in a rear facing car seat, of course, so he can't really see the terrain and wouldn't care if we were going down the highway or riding Moab. Sometimes we adventure to the local airport and go watch the planes take off and land.
I still have my dreams though, and hopefully in the next five years both boys will be able to ride in front facing car seats and sit still long enough to enjoy a day of trail riding. I'm hopeful that they will think big tires and stuff are cool. I'm hopeful that they'll want to go camping. Maybe they won't understand or care at all.
So, there's my take on your very important statement about starting a family.
Now, onto your vehicle question.
I have a 2014 4Runner Trail Edition. I decided way back to wait until it was paid off until I modded it. It is now paid off and approaching 100k miles. While I still shop tires, suspension, etc. online I don't actually buy anything because it would be a huge waste of money at this point since we have no time to go out using stuff like that.
I'm actually very glad it's totally stock. Currently my biggest concern is road handling and safety for when I have my wife and two little boys riding with me. I'm sitting on stock sized Michelin LTXs because they're the best on wet roads. If mama needs to use it without me I don't have to worry about how it would handle with taller suspension and LT tires.
My advise is to leave your 4Runner alone. Keep it well maintained and keep good road tires on it. It'll be great for weekend errands. It's a bit tight with some rear-facing car seats, but I've found the Graco stuff let's me get the driver seat back enough to be comfortable. I can fit a stroller in the back and stack groceries on top of it. Might be able to fit a dog crate back there with a stroller and put groceries in the floorboard of the second seat. LOL.
Good luck on your new journey!
I hope this isn't taken as getting into your business, but what exactly does that mean? Are you just going to "see what happens" and if your wife gets pregnant you will be happy about it? Will you be okay if you don't get pregnant in the first year? If not, have the two of you discussed fertility options and such?
I ask because I've been there and that gets expensive very quickly!
Now, if all goes well and things naturally fall into place, be aware that normal hospital/doctor bills for a problem free 9 months worth of OB visits and then the hospital stay for delivery are very expensive on their own. Are you prepared to write those multi-thousand dollar checks on top of your increased monthly health insurance cost?
Have you gone down the path of buying all the accessories you'll need for a baby? Stroller, car seat, carrier, furniture, etc.? You can spend plenty of time "modding" your vehicle just around the baby and spends hundreds of thousands of dollars on travel systems, seat covers, mirrors, etc.
All that aside, here's my experience - take from it what you will.
My wife and I got married ten years ago. We spent several years living it up as just a couple. We rode different motorcycles that I owned, went on vacation several times a year, etc. We went on long day trips up into the mountains in my 4Runner with our dog where we would trail ride and then hike.
Then we decided to start a family. After a year we had no luck so we started down the fertility path. Lots of money was spent, lots of emotional rollercoasters were ridden. During that time we still did our thing, especially since we needed the distraction, and had some awesome travel experiences together.
Then like a miracle we had our first baby in 2018. Then, surprise, another in 2020! Two boys.
Of course, probably like you I had visions of loading the family up in my 4Runner and doing all day trail rides, camping, exploring, etc.
What I didn't realize is that in the first 6-9 months of life with a baby you barely leave the house. Mama needs to nurse the baby every couple hours, and babies sleep every couple hours. After being up multiple times each night for a few months you kind of don't want to do anything with your down time except steal some rest when you can.
Also, it's not good for babies to be strapped into a car seat for hours at a time so even if you want to hit the road you can't go far. I would not suggest considering leaving mama and baby at home while you go out exploring either. They will need all the help you can give them.
At this point my nearly three year old son loves "daddy's truck" and his big thrill is me taking him to town on Saturday to Home Depot, riding with the windows down. He's in a rear facing car seat, of course, so he can't really see the terrain and wouldn't care if we were going down the highway or riding Moab. Sometimes we adventure to the local airport and go watch the planes take off and land.
I still have my dreams though, and hopefully in the next five years both boys will be able to ride in front facing car seats and sit still long enough to enjoy a day of trail riding. I'm hopeful that they will think big tires and stuff are cool. I'm hopeful that they'll want to go camping. Maybe they won't understand or care at all.
So, there's my take on your very important statement about starting a family.
Now, onto your vehicle question.
I have a 2014 4Runner Trail Edition. I decided way back to wait until it was paid off until I modded it. It is now paid off and approaching 100k miles. While I still shop tires, suspension, etc. online I don't actually buy anything because it would be a huge waste of money at this point since we have no time to go out using stuff like that.
I'm actually very glad it's totally stock. Currently my biggest concern is road handling and safety for when I have my wife and two little boys riding with me. I'm sitting on stock sized Michelin LTXs because they're the best on wet roads. If mama needs to use it without me I don't have to worry about how it would handle with taller suspension and LT tires.
My advise is to leave your 4Runner alone. Keep it well maintained and keep good road tires on it. It'll be great for weekend errands. It's a bit tight with some rear-facing car seats, but I've found the Graco stuff let's me get the driver seat back enough to be comfortable. I can fit a stroller in the back and stack groceries on top of it. Might be able to fit a dog crate back there with a stroller and put groceries in the floorboard of the second seat. LOL.
Good luck on your new journey!
