My Wandering Soul

Status
Not open for further replies.
September 2nd, 2010 was the day that changed my life forever, but I was not aware of that at that moment. I hated my job and my petty, self-fish co-workers, but it was still a job. I was working hard to get my life back on track; financially, intellectually, and romantically. That was until a fellow co-worker decided he wanted to get corporate to fire me due to Lord knows what reason. That day made me distrust humanity. In my eyes everyone was a liar, doing anything they can to make themselves “better” at the expense of others.

At that moment, I did not know what to do. I was depressed and could not seek solace at home either. How could I help the person I loved when I could not help myself? A series of missteps decided upon by me, brought me to where I am today. These missteps have only been shared with a few people and I will keep it that way. Honestly, I could care less about the job, but what I lost afterwards was irreplaceable. The past 5 years have been trying to say the least and I will not spill everything online, but I am hoping all that is behind me.

At 27 years old, I had experienced more of the world than the average person will experience in their entire life time of Cruise ships and Disney World trips (don’t worry Connie, I enjoy Disney World too). What did I have to show for it? I had absolutely nothing. No degrees, skills, or certifications. The job market was slim for me. Add on a learning disability and I was destined to work low wage jobs that lacked heart and soul. I’m not an idiot; my brain soaks up massive amounts of information and traps it. When I need it the most it won’t let it go. I look and sound like a bumbling idiot at times. Sure there are areas where it freely gives out the required info, history, art, geography come to mind. Finding a career where I can utilize these strong points has been a challenge. My ultimate goal in life is to prove my detractors wrong.

With each passing week my depression got worse. I know several of you noticed and I thank you for the support. By the end of October I did not have much left. Not content to sit down and let life pass me by, I got to work using every outlet I knew. With very few promising leads, I was lost. That was until fellow ExPo member 007 gave me an incredible offer. Having never met me and never reviewing my resume, he offered me a seasonal job in Montana, paying more than I have ever been paid before. Was this the fresh start my life needed? There was only one way to find out. If I failed, I wouldn’t be any worse off than I am now. I was tired of having to rely on others for help, tired of pity, tired of being a charity case, just plain tired. I wanted my life back again. I don't want to feel like a burden on anyone and I don't want to have these kinds of conversations anymore. The only thing I knew was that I had gotten myself into this situation, now it was time to get myself out. I accepted the job offer and set out to figure out how to fund my way to Montana. Thankfully, the answer was provided. After a few weeks of thinking over everything, I decided that since the job would not start until April and that come December I would have to start something else, I should head to the Southwest for a bit and see what happens with my life out there. The plan was set.

I won’t lie, for the first time in my life I am truly frightened. Not of travel, but my path in life. I can’t stop thinking if leaving is the right choice. Saying good-bye to the person who has meant the most to me has my heart in knots. I am scared for Jenn and I am going to do nothing but worry. I helped get us into a terrible mess. I hope this will fix what has been broken and all the wrongs. I question if at this point in my life if I should follow my logic or my heart. There is only one way to find out and here I am today. I’m treading new ground with this trip. Solo travel has never excited me. It is not that I am afraid to travel alone, quite the opposite really, it is because my best travels memories have been shared memories. It has been my travel companion’s reactions to a shared event that sticks with me for years to come. How we felt matters more to me than what we saw. From day one I have either traveled with family, Boy Scouts, high school German class, College, friends, or my wife. Now I am traveling alone.

I am not going out into the world to seek solitude; I am going out into the world to experience it. I am seeking out every nook and cranny, every city, vast expanse, mountain top, historical site, and isolated village. I welcome other Overlanders to join up with me along my and at any campsite. I have little money so I will be making use of any free camping/couches/floors I can find. My Spot will be tracking me at all times. Feel free to check out my location via the Spot link on my blog. You are more than welcome to ask for my cell number. My route takes me from Connecticut to Texas to Arizona then after sometime and a trip to Overland Expo, I will be heading north to Montana. Here is a map of the general route I will take to Arizona. WHERE TO NEXT? I will update my blog and this thread as often as possible whenever I have Wi-Fi on my dilapidated laptop. I was hoping to purchase a decent camera and lens for this, but that was not to be. I will do my best with what I have.

Time is not an issue, but my path will need to be as direct as possible though. My Land Cruiser is on its last legs and will roll over to 300,000 miles sometime in the next few months. It leaks oil like a sieve and burns oil at a rate of a quirt every 500 miles. It used to be worse, but I was able to extend its range using 20w-50. The transmission is also throwing codes and the engine has an extremely rough idle during the first 5 minutes it is running. It sounds almost as if it’s about to stall at any minute. My tires will be shot by the end of this trip. The toughest part of this journey will be between Pennsylvania and Texas. I just do not have many contacts in this area so I foresee many cold nights on my extremely small budget. Once I pass into Central Texas, help will never be more than a few hours away. I’m not so much afraid of breaking down as I am of not being able to afford repairs should something major go on it. Not much I can do though, but just grit my teeth and go.

Before I leave tomorrow morning, February 21st, I want to give a shout out to a few people who have been my backbone these past few months. Sorry if I miss you, I am writing this fast. A big thanks goes out to Expedition Portal members Haggis, 7wt, SuperCal, Chasespeed, OEX, 007, Adventureduo, Connie, Fergie, Fourbyland, Mogas, Kcowyo, Joe aka the man formally known as Modelbuilder, CA-RJ, and others. Also, thank you to my family and Jenn for still being there to give me all of your support. I know I will never be able to repay any of you for the support, but I want to say thank you.

Follow my progress in the Expedition that is life at My Wandering Soul and on Spot. I will update my blog with more writing and photographs. My first day leads me into Pennsylvania with a stop at Centralia and maybe Harpers Ferry for the night. I only have a few set plans on this trip though. Hope to see many of you out on the road and at Overland Expo. I leave you today with a parting shot of the fortune I got Thursday from a Fortune Cookie.

IMG_0001.jpg


Will I find what I need in my life? There is only one way to find out, so let’s get to it.
 
Last edited:

RedDog

Explorer
Phil, your post is a supreme example of courage. I recently walked away from the ad agency I was employed at for 14 years and the relief is overwhelming. I had long been booked with my mom and step dad for the family condo in Cocoa Beach starting the end of this week. As a result of that I haven't even looked for employment so there will be tremendous challenges ahead upon my return.

You've told me where you'll be this summer and I will be in that state with the Jeep on at least one long weekend this summer. I fully intend to hook up and buy you a cold one... or four.

Save travels across America.
 

Haggis

Appalachian Ridgerunner
Safe Travels my friend.

The Clan will be heading north out of Virginie and back home as your rollin' south. Though we will not get a chance to cook you up some backwoods grub or bend your ear awhile, we'll keep a weather eye out for you.

Stop and BS with any of the folks who cross your path, smile just for no reason and introduce yourself, and in turn restore your faith in people. There are by far more kind and interesting folks in the world than those who are not. Have fun and in the end I bet you'll make all of us jealous of your walk about and the experiences you get to have. :elkgrin:
 
Good luck. If you need a place to stay along the way, I live in a cabin along Interstate 81 not too far south of Harper's Ferry. It's only me and the dogs. Just let me know. I'm on this site all the time. But not for much longer because I'm leaving soon too!

Just looked at your map. You'll be traveling within a few miles of my place as it looks as though you plan to take Skyline Drive........................
 
Good luck. If you need a place to stay along the way, I live in a cabin along Interstate 81 not too far south of Harper's Ferry. It's only me and the dogs. Just let me know. I'm on this site all the time. But not for much longer because I'm leaving soon too!

Just looked at your map. You'll be traveling within a few miles of my place as it looks as though you plan to take Skyline Drive........................



Damn, I already made a reservation, my only reservation for the whole trip. Although, as long as I have a warm place to stay in the beginning of the trip, then its not a big deal. Pming you in a bit.
 
Last edited:
Damn, I already made a reservation, my only reservation for the whole trip. Although, as long as I have a warm place to stay in the beginning of the trip, then its not a big deal. Pming you in a bit.

I sent you my phone number. I've got a free couch, hot shower and warm meals if you want. Warning........I was married for 30 years and now live the divorced life. I never learned to cook. So, the meals are warm but are of poor quality. The couch is great as well as the shower. Be safe...........
 

achampagne

Explorer
Good luck to you man, you will be fine I am sure, take it all in and enjoy it! I'll be suscribed to your blog to follow you along.
 

Terrainist

Explorer
Happy trails man. If I had a couch, you could use it. I don't even own a chair. And am in the middle of jumping ship like you.

Stay loose, get some sun, some wind, air. Get the doubt, fear and worry out of your life. They just keep you down. You know where you are going, so it doesn't matter if the truck breaks. It'll get fixed or you'll sell it to the wrecking yard and keep going. That's a nice place in MT you are heading to.
 

CA-RJ

Expo Approved™
Phil, don't forget to PM me when you get to AZ. Maybe we could get a little group together and do dinner. BTW, you have a PM.
 

Jim K in PA

Adventurer
Phil - I can't say that I know ya, but it looks like you keep good company ;). If you have trouble while passing through northeastern PA, I am just south of I80. I am not a TLC expert, but will help if I can. I'll PM you my cell #.

Watch out for traffic on I80 near Tannersville if you are travelling tonight. Watch out for snow tomorrow AM. We're supposed to get 4-8" tonight.

Best of luck on your journey. It will be time well spent.
 

BKCowGod

Automotive ADHD is fun!
Best of luck on the new leg. Enjoy the adventure, even if it tries to kill you! (I might recommend re-reading the RadioBaobab epic for inspiration :ylsmoke:)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Forum statistics

Threads
185,533
Messages
2,875,597
Members
224,922
Latest member
Randy Towles
Top