Family "Planning"?

[R_Lefebvre]

As long as you dont do the dance with your sister in law... Good luck to yall.

You know... that's what my wife said when I first brought it up and I was like... WHAT?!! Why would anybody even think of such a thing? Is that what some people have done?

I know invetro is expensive but... geez.

 

[Mr. Leary]

You know... that's what my wife said when I first brought it up and I was like... WHAT?!! Why would anybody even think of such a thing? Is that what some people have done?

I know invetro is expensive but... geez.

As long as you keep it in the family.... :snorkel:

 

[LaOutbackTrail]

As long as you keep it in the family.... :snorkel:

She aint blood family. Aint like he's from Arkansas or nuthin.... is you from Arkansas, Ron?

 

[The Adam Blaster]

Oh, and I'd agree. Having a new baby when the first is still 2-3... gotta be tough. With Phil being 4, it's not too bad. He can entertain himself well when needed. And while he can't totally take care of himself, he is usually patient while he waits.

My wife and I both noticed that within a couple of months after our son started walking, he could keep himself mostly entertained. It's great for us when we are cooking in the kitchen, he stays in view in the living room playing with whatever, or he runs his laps around our main floor.
That's my favourite game because I can stay in one spot, "scare" him when he runs through, and he keeps running his pattern and burns up some of his nearly limitless evergy. lol

He also likes to help with putting things away, groceries, dishes from the dishwasher etc. I'm hoping that will continue when we have our 2nd and he wants to help grab a clean diaper for us.

 

[R_Lefebvre]

We were worried if Phil would get jealous, but he's just been awesome. Obviously it's limited in what he can do, but he's really attentive to her. When she cries, he'll come over and say "It's oh-kay Elise, we're here..." in his little 4 year old voice. It's too cute. He'll try to get her attention with a rattle, and he's held her bottle a few times.

 

[Maddmatt]

Oh, and I'd agree. Having a new baby when the first is still 2-3... gotta be tough. With Phil being 4, it's not too bad. He can entertain himself well when needed. And while he can't totally take care of himself, he is usually patient while he waits.

What I mean about it being easier with the second is... all the little things you freaked out about with your first, you're used to on the second. Such as, in the first week after birth, both of them spit up a little blood a few times. Turns out it was coming from mommy, it takes a little while for her to toughen up. We totally freaked out with Phil, but with Elise, you're used to it. Stuff like that.

Oh yeah, that stuff - easy peezy with the second kid

 

[stevenmd]

Like I said before, we have five kids. My three oldest boys were incredibly easy, very energetic but easy to deal with. Then came my daughter. I love her to death and she just melts me. But she is a little diva. It seems like I am the only one she obeys.

...than comes our last one, boy #4... Declan. He is ALL the kids' energy wound up into one little ball of fire. My mom says he is just like me. Only two modes - on and off, no in between. Once, when I was three, I was so hyper that the minister told me mom I was full of the devil. I think that was an expression back then but I'm not so sure...

Back to the thread: my three oldest boys are from a different marriage. I was a single dad for 6 years before I met Suzi. As a single parent with 3 boys, we were out camping or 4 wheeling at least twice a month. Just get out there and do it! It is more stressful on the parents worrying about their kids than it is on the kids. Kids are resilient!

 

[Ford Prefect]

For those unsure about the risks involved in having another child. I have a few friends who had various risks after having a few kids of their own. Both of the families have adopted kids, and it has been a really great experience for all. I would highly recommend the idea. Too many kids grow up in other countries without a family, and I personally thing it is a wonderful idea to adopt. The kids end up being a blessing in your life, as we all know kids can be, and you end up being a major blessing in what would have otherwise been a horrible life for the child.

Well, my two bits

 

[LaOutbackTrail]

For those unsure about the risks involved in having another child. I have a few friends who had various risks after having a few kids of their own. Both of the families have adopted kids, and it has been a really great experience for all. I would highly recommend the idea. Too many kids grow up in other countries without a family, and I personally thing it is a wonderful idea to adopt. The kids end up being a blessing in your life, as we all know kids can be, and you end up being a major blessing in what would have otherwise been a horrible life for the child.

Well, my two bits

We arent in the financial position to do such a thing, but we may do so later in life. A good friend of my wife has 9 siblings..... She has 4 blood siblings and the family has adopted 5 more kids! 10 kids! They LITERALLY drive one of these to the grocery store!

but, I dont think its THAT long of a Sprinter...

 

[java]

So My Wife and i only want another child as a companion to our 15 mo old daughter. she was really hard when she was little, born at 5 pounds and was super colicy. didnt sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time for 6 months, it was killer. She is great now, goes to bed at 6-7 and sleeps till 6:30-7am, eats pretty much anything, although she does have really bad allergies which can be scary. Turns bright red and her throat starts to close. So we would love to have a playmate for her but we dont want to go through the killer infant stage again, any thoughts? anyone adopted?
sorry to jump on your thread LA, just a similar thought

 

[wanderer-rrorc]

it really shows me the kind of members on here...Ive been logged out for a few hours and this is over 6 pages long!!!

having got to dinner with the family...came home and looked at the logistics of finnishing my vans interior for camping..and the thoughts of all the camping and traveling for JUST THIS YEAR...and the 2 sleeping baby's about 10ft away....

having the second IS easier...but twins is TOUGH...if we had twins the first go around...our marriage wouldnt have healed...its TOUGH....

having spent about 2 years of the last 6 I was a single dad...(sepperated due to my problems with wifes attitudes/depression)...and I think fondly of all the times my daughter took roadtrips...went wheelin...and the bonding times we had...and I continue that to this day....but now I also include my wife (and now twins)...my wifes parents didnt really do anything with her and her sister...so think of it as her second childhood...

things we all take for granted..she never did with her family...but she as done it with me and our daughter AS a family...fishing..camping..even flying a kite (her first flight of a kite she was 25!!)...

so with that...I got to see the wonder in NOT ONLY our daughters eyes..but my wifes as well..and now that the lines of understanding and open communication are open and kept open...we have done..and plan on doing other adventures...all with the intention of all the children going and experiancing...(took the twins to the zoo when they were 6 weeks old...they wont remember...but the pictures will show that we DID take them...)..

it does take longer to get to your destination...and after a few years..ya just plan on having unplanned time (often AT unplanned times!!)...and ya go with the flow...sure ya miss a little sleep...but the 3am checkin on the kids gives you such a feel of love...to know that your parents did the same to you..and you never knew till you check on your own kids...its amazing...


adoption...its always an option...my middle sister got pregnant at 15...she gave him up for adoption...at an early age his adopted parents didnt hide anything from him...he knows who his birth mother is..but his MOM is his MOM...he's just lucky enough to have 2 that love him!!...he's involved in our family somewhat...was even at my sisters wedding a few years ago...and with his successes in life..she knows she did the right thing..he's happy,loved and always taken care of!...


and as far as "donating genetic material"...I snickered...and reserved a few "sure thats happened before" comments...but *IF* I were in the same boat...I would rather it be 100% family...with the occasional off-color comment to my brother about "his dam kid"....but we're kinda twisted like that..

the twins are 10 weeks old...and I randomly say to my wife..."well...they're still white"....but my boy REALLY looks ALOT like my brother...and the wife just laughs and tells me im being silly...:elkgrin:

 

[stevenmd]

and as far as "donating genetic material"...I snickered...and reserved a few "sure thats happened before" comments...but *IF* I were in the same boat...I would rather it be 100% family...with the occasional off-color comment to my brother about "his dam kid"....but we're kinda twisted like that..

the twins are 10 weeks old...and I randomly say to my wife..."well...they're still white"....but my boy REALLY looks ALOT like my brother...and the wife just laughs and tells me im being silly...:elkgrin:

That's freakin' hilarious!:coffeedrink:

 

[SilverBullet]

Well, I will put in my thought here. Go for it! My wonderful wife and I have 3 kids. Scott (4), Kevin (2), and Jessica (2 mo.) and we love all of them and having them so close. They are all friends (so far) and have fun together.

I will tell you, I felt like the step from 1 to 2 kids was easy, 2 to 3 however was harder. When you have 2, each of you can prepare 1 child and still get out the door in a reasonable time. When we have 3 now, there is always the4 need to cover that third one, so it takes more time. Just plan for it and you will not have trouble.

It has been mentioned before, but be open and honest with yoru kids and demand that of them too. If youd do, there will be a great level of trust between you all and things will go very well. Kids are a blessing from God, adn I enjoy my 3 blessings every moment of every day.

 

[R_Lefebvre]

So My Wife and i only want another child as a companion to our 15 mo old daughter. she was really hard when she was little, born at 5 pounds and was super colicy. didnt sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time for 6 months, it was killer. She is great now, goes to bed at 6-7 and sleeps till 6:30-7am, eats pretty much anything, although she does have really bad allergies which can be scary. Turns bright red and her throat starts to close. So we would love to have a playmate for her but we dont want to go through the killer infant stage again, any thoughts? anyone adopted?
sorry to jump on your thread LA, just a similar thought

My son has bad allergies too. He seems fine with nuts, it's actually sesame, which is pretty difficult, because it's everywhere and it's not a "common" allergy so people don't pay attention the way they do with peanuts. My MIL gave him some crackers a while ago with sesame in them, and when I noticed and questioned it "Wait, do those crackers have sesame in the?" "Pfff, I dunno, am I supposed to know that." I REALLLY had to bit my tongue, but that's another story...

Now... and I'm going to say this... and I'm sure people will jump all over me but... I researched how to do a tracheotomy. It's something I hope I never have to do, and I'm not trying to be a hero but... I had to know, just in case, otherwise how could I in good conscience ever take him out of the city? It's obviously a last resort, but if we're hours from professional help, and he's dying because he can't breath... I'm not going to just let him die without trying. And if I get sent to jail well... so be it. I can't not try to save him.

having the second IS easier...but twins is TOUGH...if we had twins the first go around...our marriage wouldnt have healed...its TOUGH....

My cousin had twins first off, and I just look at them and... wow. I don't know if I could deal with it. I don't know how she gets ANY sleep. Litterally. It doesn't help that she tries to be a "supermom" either. The girls are 3 1/2" now, and they just announced this week that her husband is leaving her. We think he's having a mid-life crisis, hopefully he comes around. But they've already sold their house and bought two townhomes, so they're pretty far along the process.

Personally, I think it's largely because he's the type of guy... lives in the city, no hobbies, maybe goes out with the guys if he's lucky. Other than what, work, go home, help with the kids, sleep, and back to work. Men have been emasculated in common society, and I think it's contributing to a lot of problems.

That's part of the reason why things like what we're talking about here... get out and do something, is so important. They're the type... my parents have a really nice cottage. A "lakehouse" really. We usually have a big family gathering in August. Up in the hills over the city on a beautiful lake, they have a solid roof over their heads and a comfy bed available. But last year my cousin stayed home because it was "too much trouble with the kids". I think if you start living your life like that, you just burn out.

adoption...its always an option...my middle sister got pregnant at 15...she gave him up for adoption...at an early age his adopted parents didnt hide anything from him...he knows who his birth mother is..but his MOM is his MOM...he's just lucky enough to have 2 that love him!!...he's involved in our family somewhat...was even at my sisters wedding a few years ago...and with his successes in life..she knows she did the right thing..he's happy,loved and always taken care of!...

My brother has looked at adoption but... it's hardly an option either. It seems crazy now. Almost impossible to find a child born in the country anymore. Seems kids who need help now, just get stuck in the "foster parent" circle now, instead of being put up for adoption. They get moved around from home to home, often the homes are abusive, that's a disaster it seems.

So you have to go out of country now. But it's a huge industry, there's a lot of people making a lot of money on this, and there's a lot of corruption. It can cost more than $50,000 to adopt a child from abroad, it doesn't make any sense.

 

[LaOutbackTrail]

the twins are 10 weeks old...and I randomly say to my wife..."well...they're still white"....but my boy REALLY looks ALOT like my brother...and the wife just laughs and tells me im being silly...:elkgrin:

Heh, we always get a good ribbing in to my brother (the one that I like)... because his son looks SO much like my cousin that we say my cousin got frisky with his wife...

Sad part is, I think its true!