Another Anti-Adventure Road Trip


I find myself adrift in the void...deep impenetrable blackness all about me...thick and confining...yet somehow comfortable...I'm just sense of discernible other inhabitants within the blackness. I wonder I dead? Is this the afterlife? Shouldn't there be some sort of heavenly light? Maybe an escalator like the one in the old Tom and Jerry cartoons? I seemed to be trapped in an inky black purgatory. From out of the dark...from some far off place...I hear Alan Wilson's distinctly falsetto if riding on a nonexistent breeze...almost imperceptible at first...but building steadily..."Well, I'm so tired of cryin' but I'm out on the road again - I'm on the road again"...what the hell? Is that Canned Heat? What are they doing in here? I must be dead. What am I doing here? Who am I? What am I? I feel like a soul...recently freed from my mortal coils...floating in the ether...and yet the music grows louder. "but I ain't going down that long and lonesome road - all by myself"..

OK...what the hell is going on here? This is beyond surreal.

Right about then...the fog begins to lift...the massive wet blanket of a Nyquil induced coma is slowly receding...consciousness is somewhere out on the horizon...I'm pulling back from the Abyss...I slowly come to the realization that I am, in fact, a human and not some sort of specter...I fight to lift an the other. I attempt to focus on the blackness of the room around me, but I'm greeted by the piercing red demon eyes of an LED alarm clock staring back at me from the nightstand...3:45

Crap! It's time for work! I groan and begin to muster the Herculean strength that will undoubtedly be required to get my stoned *** out of this bed...then...wait...the fuzziness recedes just an inch further...and then...VACATION!!!!!! I'm leaving for Colorado!!! Hoo-freakin-ray!!! Where's my theme song?!?! "On the road again..."


With newfound purpose and vigor, I bound out of bed...more or less...impersonating a walker in the Walking Dead...still under the influence of the heavy dose of Nyquil I took the night before to ensure a solid 8 hours of slumber on a night when I was way too excited to, if I can free myself from the grip of the magic green elixir, I'll be well equipped for 16 hours of driving. Off I go to the theme song playing at full volume in my head.

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